basic settings

Ang bagay na 'to

2008-07-24T03:03:00.000+08:00

hindi mo rin alam minsan weh, kung paano simulan ang isang tula, paano uumpisahan ang isang mahabang kwento nang hindi tumatalon sa bawat pangyayaring maisip mo lang. walang maayos na pagkasunud sunod. kung maraming ding nahihirapan sa ganitong sitwasyon, ako pa kaya? masasabi ko ngayon, hindi ako likas na manunulat. sa halip, naisusulat ko lang ang mga bagay na tumatakbo sa isip ko. walang kaayusan ang mga bagay na iniisip ko. at dahil repleksiyon lang ng iniisip ko ang mga isinusulat ko, sa malamang na hindi talaga lumabas na maganda ang mga gawa ko.

ulet, dahil isinusulat ko lang ang mga naiisip ko, ibig sabihin, simula pa lang, wala rin akong planong maging maganda ang takbo ng kwento, pagkakasunud sunod ng pangyayari, mga salita at pangungusap. hindi ko rin intensyong magandahan ang mga bumabasa o babasa nito.

sa huli, gusto ko lang talagang ibahagi ang mga laman ng isip ko minsan. at ipabasa ang mga bagay na minsang umokupa ng isip, oras at emosyon ko.

ala lang...

2005-12-17T07:24:00.000+08:00

Which poem are you?

The Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath

To you, love is desperate and hateful. You're wildly passionate and wildly inventive. You're also likely to start stalking people.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

para sa'yo na nga ito

2005-11-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

dec. 23 na nga po ang memoirs of a geisha. tama na rin para sa (sana'y) magandang pagtatapos ng taon.

...kung hindi man naging maganda ang simula ng 2005 sa kin, sa'yo, sa mga tao...sana ang wakas ng taon ay maging panimula sa mas magandang relasyon ng ating pagkakaibigan.

hindi nga lahat ng bagay ay madali...kaya hindi rin lahat ng desisyon ay tama... ang gusto ko lang sabihin, minsan masarap din yung tahimik lang habang nakikinig ka ng mga kanta ni cynthia alexander tapos, kusa na lang bubuhos ang mga salita pra may mai-post ka sa blog. nakakatuwa.hehe! walang katapusang segwey...

at dahil ang sabi ko hindi ako gagawa ng nobela ngayon, sige. hindi na nga.

masarap lang linawin sa mundo at sa mga tao...na minsan masarap ang pakiramdam na makawala...hindi sa mga iyak, pagsisi, tanung, alaala... kundi sa mga magandang samahan na pumigil sa 'king bumitaw.

we drive tonight,and you are by my side.We’re talking about our lives,like we’ve known each other forever.the time flies by,with the sound of your voice.its close to paradise,with the end surely near.and if i could only stop the carand hold onto you,and never let go...i’ll never let go.
as we round the cornerto your houseyou turned to me and said,“i’ll be going through withdraw of you for this one night we have spent.”and, i want to speak these wordsbut i guess i’ll just bite my tongue,and accept “someday, somehow”as the words that we’ll hang from.
and i... i don’t want to speak these words.cause i, i don’t want to make things any worse.
why does tonite, have to end?why don’t we hit restart,and pause it at our favorite parts.we’ll skip the goodbyes.if i had it my way,i’d turn the car around and runaway,just you and i.
and i... i don’t want to speak these words.cause i, i don’t want to make things
cause i, i dont want to make things any worse.

un na.

clips from the Ayanami's eye

2005-10-22T02:25:00.000+08:00

i am i.
i've become me through the instumentality
of the links between me and others.

i've been formed by interaction with others.

the interaction with people and the flow
of time change the shape of mind.

those are bonds?

yes. those have formed me so far, the thing called Ayanami Rei.
and, those will form me from now on.

those are bonds?

but, there's someone else who is the true you.

you don't know her.

because you don't want to see that,
you are trying to run away.

because of fear.

because she might not have a human shape.
because the present me might disappear.

fear.

one is afraid that the self will disappear.
fear?
that doesn't make sense.
the self's world will disappear.

arent you afraid?

heaven knows (this angel has flown)

2005-10-21T18:54:00.000+08:00

There are times when I’m lying in my bed

Hug my pillow and cry from this tip again

And my eyes are like windshields on a rainy day

Almost rubbed down, swelling, as I keep on

Dipping my face in these cold hands of mine

Heaven knows how bitter I am

Cause this angel has flown away from me

Leaving me in drunken misery

I should have clipped her wings and made her mine

For all eternity

Now this angel has flown away from me

Thought I had the strength to set her free

Did what I did because I love her so

Will she ever find her way back home to me...

I’m so tired, I feel like catching forty winks

Being up all night in this elbow room

That puts me in a trance

Where hopes and dreams come true

Now my lips are burning and my eyes are hurting

From this fuse I mixed till I light another

Cigarette just to pass my time, oh

Heaven knows how bitter I am

para sa lahat 'to!

2005-10-21T11:15:00.000+08:00

pedi ba akong humingi ng paumanhin?

paumanhin para sa lahat ng mga taong kumulo ang dugo dahil hindi nila masumpungan ang blog ko.

medyo...inayos ko lang ang sarili ko kaya lahat naapaktuhan na...inayos ko na rin ang blog ko.

pero... hindi ko naman talaga inayos na literal..dahil sa totoo lang e hindi ko naman ginagalaw..ngayon ko nga lang ito na-asikaso.

kaya nananawagan ako sa lahat ng nagbigay ng tulong at para na rin sa mga taong nasa paligid ko, kahit parati nila kong sinesermunan, maraming salamat sa inyong lahat.

pahabol lang...

ito na yung lahat ng magagawa ko para sa iba...kung may hihiling pa ng mas malaki, baka hindi ako kilala..pedi namang maghanap ng iba..:p